Divorcing a narcissistic or abusive spouse can be a frustrating and challenging experience. However, it is essential to protect yourself and your interests and seek professional support. In this article, we will provide a roadmap for dealing with a narcissistic or abusive spouse during divorce.
Identify the narcissistic or abusive spouse
The first step in dealing with a narcissistic or abusive spouse is recognising the problem. If you feel as though your spouse is making your life miserable by being controlling, manipulative, or abusive, it is crucial to seek help. Recognising the problem is an essential step that can help you take control of the situation and prevent further harm.
Janet (not her real name) had decided that enough was enough and it was time to divorce her abusive husband, but she didn’t know where to turn for help. She felt trapped and isolated, as though nobody would understand what she was going through. It wasn’t until she started to seek advice that she began to recognise the signs of abuse and how she could deal with it.
Communicating with a narcissistic or abusive spouse
The best way to communicate with a narcissist is to be clear, direct, and concise. Avoid engaging in arguments; you can never win. Instead, stay on point and remain focused on the issues that you want to be resolved.
Once Janet realised she was dealing with an abusive spouse, she knew she had to think carefully about how to speak with him. Janet chose to be direct and concise rather than try to engage with him or engage in arguments. She expressed her concerns clearly and remained focused on sorting out their childcare arrangements and selling their former marital home.
Separating and divorcing a narcissist
Once you have identified the problem, the next step is to come up with solutions. It may be helpful to consult a divorce expert who understands the complexities of dealing with a narcissistic or abusive spouse.
Janet knew she couldn’t handle divorcing her abusive spouse on her own, so she sought the help of an experienced divorce expert who developed a comprehensive plan that addressed Janet’s legal and financial concerns and her emotional well-being.
Taking necessary action
Taking action is essential in dealing with a narcissistic or abusive spouse during a divorce. This can include limiting contact with your partner or even obtaining a restraining order in severe situations.
Janet decided to limit contact with her ex-spouse, which gave her the mental space to focus on her next steps.
Overcoming obstacles when divorcing a narcissist
Dealing with a narcissistic or abusive spouse can present significant obstacles during and even after the divorce. These obstacles may include attempts to manipulate or harass you, breaking childcare arrangements, or attempting to hide assets.
Janet’s ex-spouse continued to harass her through texts and phone calls, but she was determined not to let him get the best of her. She sought support from her friends and family and the advice of a solicitor, who explained that she could take legal action against her ex-husband if he didn’t stop.
Re-evaluating your situation
Divorce can be an emotional process, and dealing with a narcissistic or abusive spouse can make it more challenging. Taking the time to reassess your situation and adjust your approach is helpful. This can help you stay focused on your goals and maintain your emotional well-being.
As time passed, Janet’s problems with her ex stopped, and she was able to move on and start a new life for herself and her children.
Key Takeaways when divorcing a narcissistic or abusive spouse
Dealing with a narcissistic or abusive spouse during a divorce can be challenging but not impossible. By using the roadmap described, Janet was able to recognise the signs and develop coping mechanisms to deal with her abusive spouse.
The divorce expert helped Janet develop a plan that addressed her legal and financial concerns and advised her on how to protect herself and her children from her abusive spouse.
With support from the divorce expert and family and friends, Janet navigated the difficult process of divorce and is now enjoying a better life for herself and her children.
Remember, you are not alone; seeking professional support and support from friends and family can help you stay strong and focused.